The lost flow of my myself.

I was never good with body coordination. Actually, I was always probably worst in class. But somehow, just somehow I manage to find myself and my own flow with my Poi. Why is that? Is it because compared to classes I don't have anyone bitching me about what can and can't be done? Is it perhaps because every move that I learn, there are completely new possebileties, previously unexplored that unfolds in favor of my movement spectrum? Or is it because of my friends whom also enjoy this artform so much?

Whatever it is, I'm very grateful that I have found such a wonderful thing. For me, it is something really dear and it is also something I had completely lost hope in ever gaining the control of my body, and much, much more. I could not learn how to dance in school, because I was never able to succsessfully lead the ladies, unlike Poi, i have such a respect for living things that "leading" in a dance would make the male side seem "Dominant". Well, I don't know, but that's what I thought. I was only good at running and jumping. However my jumping suffered some, because of lack of coordination, betting that I would jump high was like betting on a chance of 50/50. All sports during school activity suffered from my lack of coordination abileties as well. Working with others was not my thing to be honest, I could never really figure out what the other players were thinking, my complete un-interest in sports on television or live didn't help either. But Poi was different in so many ways. I'm not forced to work "with" someone, but nowadays I happily do, perhaps it's a thing that has to do with confidence. I'm constantly encouraged to find my own style, something everybody will do after a while when they have picked up their Poi. My style is currently a bit lacking I guess, i practcied alot more moves then transitions and flow. In spinning terms that makes me a "Technical Spinner" however lately i'm more in search for my flow... The lost flow of myself.

I don't want to feel like "just another poi-spinner" I want to feel unique, I want people to see something fresh and interesting. But seeing how advanced the community has become today, is that really possible? Is it possible to do something like that only from yourself? Is it even genetically possible for me to become that good? So far things are faring very well and the way I feel now, I will never stop. But before anything I need to find my flow. I need to work on it untill I can feel confident enough to move with my entire technical-array of moves with proper transitions. For me this is a grand goal, however the aim is breaking out of the box, using the entire sphere around us, strighting out the planes, work on body posture, keep the poi in proper splittime at any point the body can reach. There's alot to do with this alone, on my next practice round in the hall 70 km away from where I live, I will pick one move ( Family ) and stick with that the entire time. Working only on variations, speeding up/down, turning, and finding the most solid poses. I'm sure there are some really cool stuff which can be done with pretty simple moves, if you know who to move with them.